Accusations of mistreatment worsen Telegram CEO’s problems with the courts

During many of their nearly 10 years as romantic partners, Irina Bolgar said she and Pavel Durov enjoyed a lavish lifestyle. The extravagance grew as Telegram, the messaging app created by Durov, became a global success, establishing him as a billionaire and one of the most powerful technology executives in the world.

In the summers, they spent about $1 million for a month at a 46-hectare resort in Sardinia. In Dubai, UAE, they were in a beachfront penthouse with its own elevator. Private planes took them to Paris, Italy and Monaco.

But something changed during that period, according to Bolgar, who is now embroiled in a legal dispute with Durov. She said he transformed from a principled entrepreneur she admired into an increasingly arrogant, controlling and ultimately abusive adversary.

According to a criminal complaint in Switzerland made by Bolgar last year against Durov, he assaulted his youngest child five times in 2021 and 2022. On one occasion, Durov struck the child in the back, throwing him across the room, she said. In another, he shook him so hard that the boy’s shoes fell off. He later grabbed the child by the leg and said he was going to kill him.

Details are included in public documents related to the criminal case, which was previously reported by . The files do not list the names of Durov, Bolgar and the children, but there are several identifying factors, including the case number of a civil child custody complaint filed by Bolgar.

A spokesman for prosecutors in Geneva confirmed that an investigation was underway but declined to comment further. Durov’s spokesman said in a statement that the incidents “never occurred” and that the accusations “lack substance.”

Bolgar, in a four-hour interview in Geneva, where he now lives with the three children he had with Durov, said he could not elaborate on the child abuse allegations due to the investigation. But she provided other details about their relationship that now threaten to further complicate Durov’s already significant legal problems in Europe.

In France, Durov faces criminal charges related to the dissemination of illicit content on Telegram in a case that has shaken the world of technology. It is one of the first examples of a democratic government holding a social media leader criminally responsible for what was disseminated on their platform.

French authorities arrested Durov in August after he landed near Paris on a private plane from Azerbaijan. Prosecutors charged Durov, an outspoken defender of free speech and privacy, with crimes including facilitating the distribution of child sexual abuse material, drug trafficking and fraud. He could face years in prison.

Bolgar’s allegations include unpaid child support, according to documents related to the criminal complaint. This could mean that even if Durov finds a way to overcome the charges in France, he will face more legal problems elsewhere.

Her account, along with the case she brought against him, also opens a window into the rare life of the highly private Durov, who remains one of the world’s least understood technology moguls. Although Telegram has amassed nearly 1 billion users, Durov has avoided the same kind of scrutiny directed at his Silicon Valley peers. Guessing the Russian-born entrepreneur’s allegiances has become a game among tech-savvy Russia, where Telegram dominates.

“Durov’s carefully constructed image as a defender of freedom crumbles when confronted with his personal life,” said Bolgar, a lawyer originally from St. Petersburg, Russia. “It reveals a stark contrast between his public declarations of freedom and his private actions.”

Durov’s spokesman said Bolgar and Durov were “never a couple” and that she personally claimed millions of dollars that he provided in alimony and spent lavishly on luxury goods and other extravagances.

“Mr. Durov has many children, and he supports each of them equally at a rate of $10,000 per month per child,” the spokesperson wrote in a statement. “Mr Durov now hopes that the Swiss justice system will resolve this dispute so that the funds misappropriated by Ms Bolgar can be used for their intended purpose: supporting children.”

Bolgar denied misusing the money he received from Durov.

His comments contrast with evidence of the relationship provided by Bolgar, including receipts for lavish vacations; a notary document promising up to 150 thousand euros per month in financial support; years of photos that include the couple smiling on a private jet, celebrating birthdays and spending time together in Italy, the United Arab Emirates, Russia and other locations; as well as other materials.

A former employee of Durov, who saw the two together frequently from 2013 to 2018, described a loving couple who lived in an apartment in central St. Petersburg. The person, who declined to be identified for fear of retaliation, reported seeing Durov give Bolgar lavish gifts, including jewelry from Cartier.

Swiss prosecutors have not yet decided whether to bring formal charges against Durov. A child protection court in Geneva, however, suspended Durov’s right to have personal contact with children following Bolgar’s complaint. Making a false criminal report is illegal under Swiss law and can lead to a prison sentence or a financial fine.

Durov’s spokesman said he became aware of the allegations this summer and has hired lawyers to “present the true facts to the Swiss authorities.”

Connecting through yoga

Bolgar, 44, said he met Durov, 39, through a friend in the summer of 2012 in St. Petersburg. She said the friendship blossomed over a shared interest in yoga. Things turned romantic on a winter holiday at the Burj Al Arab hotel in Dubai. She described him as charming and said she was impressed by his libertarian views.

When they returned to Russia, Bolgar said, they lived together at the W Hotel in St. Petersburg before getting an apartment within walking distance of his company’s headquarters. In late 2013, she had their first child.

According to Durov, the relationship was transactional. “Ms. Bolgar, who was Mr. Durov’s yoga instructor at the time, suggested to Mr. Durov that they have children together,” his spokesperson said in a statement. “He agreed, and three children were born.”

In the years that followed, Bolgar said, their ongoing romance gave him a privileged spot as Durov’s career took off. When he began building what would become Telegram in 2013, she said, the two exchanged messages on an early version of the app. She shared photos of Durov from that time, almost always dressed in black, hunched over a laptop or phone.

In 2014, Durov sold his stake in his first social media company, VKontakte, claiming he was left with no choice after Russian authorities demanded access to user data that he refused to hand over. As a result, he said, he would leave the country. The story would become an anecdote that Durov often repeated to extol his commitment to privacy.

Bolgar described the truth as more complicated. After several months outside of Russia, Durov returned to the country with Bolgar despite his public resignations, she said. The two resumed their lives together in Saint Petersburg.

“When we decided to go back to Russia, I asked him, ‘So you said you wouldn’t want to go back to Russia, but now you have the opposite intention.’ He said, ‘Why not go back to Russia?’” she said.

Durov’s spokesman said he lived mainly outside Russia after 2013 but never concealed returns to the country.

Bolgar said Durov was not always truthful. When she asked him about a 2014 report that said Durov had a separate family, he denied it. Bolgar later discovered the truth when the couple’s driver brought a bag of gifts to celebrate the new year that appeared to be for Durov’s other family.

“The driver mixed up the lists and brought the gifts for the older children,” she said.

Durov often projected an austere persona. But Bolgar said he enjoyed the opulent lifestyle. In a message to her, he reflected on the cost of a $20,000-a-night hotel in Dubai and which suite to choose.

“I can do this because I made tens of millions of easy money in Bitcoins,” he told her.

He also focused on his image, she said, obsessing over fitness and having a friend who owns an agency that represents swimsuit models take photos of him for social media. He told her to “come see how the people on the rich list live” and another time sent her a photo of him holding a rented lion cub.

Durov’s spokesman disputed that Durov lived anything other than an austere life. “Mr Durov has been consistently critical of the extravagant lifestyles of the ultra-rich and advocates creation over consumption,” the spokesperson said.

Filing a complaint

Durov’s behavior changed in 2021, Bolgar said. He became psychologically abusive towards her and began attacking her children.

“Either you do everything my way and then you have the moral right to complain, or you do everything your way and don’t complain,” Durov said in 2021.

In April of that year, he hit his son, who was three at the time, throwing him “across the room,” according to Bolgar’s statement to police. In November 2021, in Paris, he hit the child again and shook him violently. As a result, the child suffered a concussion and, for several months, suffered bedwetting and nightmares, according to the complaint.

Around this time, Bolgar said, Durov began asking her to move to Dubai. She refused. She said she was concerned about laws in the United Arab Emirates, where Durov became a citizen, that could give him rights to take custody of the children.

The last time they saw each other was in September 2022. She warned him that if he didn’t change his abusive behavior she would go to the police. He threatened to cut off financial support. He did, starting in November 2022, she said.

In 2022, Durov said he discovered that Bolgar had abused the use of cards linked to his bank accounts, spending several million dollars on luxury clothing and expensive jewelry. Durov, according to his spokesman, “believes that the display of excessive wealth is especially harmful to children, as it often diminishes their motivation and creativity.”

Bolgar, now working as a project manager, said Durov never complained about his spending habits.

In March 2023, she went to a police station in Geneva to make the official complaint against Durov.

“Why didn’t I do this before? It was quite difficult for me to file a complaint against the person I spent 10 years of my life with,” she said. “It was an internal barrier in my mind that I had to overcome to go to the police,” he added.

The Geneva Public Prosecutor’s Office initially refused to accept his complaint because it was filed more than three months after the most recent violent episode. A court allowed the case to move forward after she appealed. This year, Bolgar also filed a civil alimony suit against Durov in Switzerland, which seeks nearly 125 million Swiss francs (about $145 million).

In recent months, their dispute has spread across social media. In July, after Bolgar made his first public comments about Durov being the father of his children, he posted that he had more than 100 children in many countries as a sperm donor.

Bolgar responded on Instagram by posting a portrait of herself and her three children. “We must always be responsible for our children,” she said. “That’s the difference between a sperm donor and a father.”